FRONT-OF-HOUSE OFFENSES
Missed Pickup | $ 20.00 |
Missed Tape Cue | $ 20.00 |
Late Tape Cue | $ 50.00 |
Early Tape Cue | $ 75.00 |
Wrong Tape Cue | $150.00 |
Going on an uncalled cue | $ 10.00 |
Not going on an uncalled cue | $500.00 |
Failure to bail out clueless stage manager | $ 0.01 |
Unauthorized bailing out of clueless stage manager | Ostracism |
Failure to duck out offensive orchestral players | $ 35.00 |
Failure to duck out offensive vocalizations | $ 55.00 |
Feedback | $100.00 |
Falling asleep at console | $ 20.00 |
Feedback caused by falling asleep at console | $150.00 |
Audible snoring at console | $ 75.00 |
Making audible rude comments on the performance | $ 5.00 |
Failure to maintain correct mixing levels | $150.00 |
Failure to correct glaring errors caused by designer | $ 50.00 |
Correcting glaring errors caused by designer | LOSS OF JOB |
WIRELESS OFFENSES
Failure to mute faulty wireless | $100.00 |
Failure to mute wireless when actor is not on stage | $ 50.00 |
Failure to mute wireless while actor is in bathroom | $ 2.00 |
Recording wireless while actor is in bathroom | $ 0.00 |
Recording wireless while actor is gossiping | $ 0.00 |
Self-serving use of wireless gossip | $5000.00 |
BACKSTAGE OFFENSES
Unauthorized use of wireless condoms | $300.00 |
Recycling wireless condoms | $300.00 |
Overzealous transmitter changes on opposite-sex cast members | $ 69.00 |
Overzealous transmitter changes on same-sex cast members | $ 66.00 |
Recycling batteries | $ 20.00 |
Failure to recycle batteries | $150.00 |
Failure to share vast wealth from recycling batteries with: | |
Contract Department Head | Dismemberment |
House Department Head | Death |
Stage Manager | $ 5.00 |
GENERAL OFFENSES
Excessive whining | $10000.00 |
Excessive cheerfulness | $15000.00 |
Hiding/sleeping during load-in | Electrocution |
Hiding/sleeping during load-out | Hanging |
ASSISTANT/ASSOCIATE DESIGNER OFFENSES
Delivery of caffeinated coffee to designer | $ 150.00 |
Delivery of decaffeinated coffee to designer | $ 5.00 |
Naming of sound effects with racial slurs | $ 15.00 |
Inability to fix designer's computer problem | $ 300.00 |
Inability to fix designer's friend's computer problem | $ 500.00 |
Overzealous attention to opposite-sex cast members' microphone positions | $ 69.00 |
Overzealous attention to same-sex cast members' microphone positions | $ 66.00 |
Inattention to paperwork updates | $ 5.00 |
Naming of SPX-990 programs in Japanese characters | $ 104.16 |
Failure to repair designer's errors in system design before shop period | $ 500.00 |
Failure to repair designer's errors in system design before load-in period | $1000.00 |
Failure to repair designer's errors in system design before tech period | $3000.00 |
Failure to mend feelings between operator and designer | $ 10.00 |
Being over-obvious regarding personal opinions about designer's ideas or concepts | $ 150.00 |
Building a better cue than the designer's original idea | $3000.00 |
Pre-tuning of sound system with Nine Inch Nails or Rammstein | $ 666.00 |
Spending inordinate amounts of time in the stage management office "xeroxing paperwork" because the intern is cute | $ 20.00 |
Failure to appear caring when designer complains about life | $ 300.00 |
Kissing producers' ass(es) more than designer | $ 150.00 |
Falling asleep at production meetings | $ 15.00 |
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96.4.16, 00.08.19